It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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