wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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