Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
