I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
