How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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