I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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