hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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