Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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