so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
