I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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