so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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