even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
