ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
false alarm. still invincible.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
