I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
