after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what is it with giant penises always finding me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
