literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
