Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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