JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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