Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Randomize
