that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
