just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
