Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
NoShamevember. You game?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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