You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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