I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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