I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
