i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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