Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
