laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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