look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
