For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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