The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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