Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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