I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
