so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I could make wine with my vomit
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she told me i tasted like america
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
