The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
