Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
