whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
