Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it glows. i had to have it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
