yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
