don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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