once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
