Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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