note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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