Christians are straight up FREAKS
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize