so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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