Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
