I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
