Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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