Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
