Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
