Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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