my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
