Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
