I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
